Driving Equality

Day 99

I’m in Madison, Wisconsin. This is a very cool city. I spent the day trying to upload, editing, and post videos. I also got a chance to take a quick swim. Downtown Madison is surrounded by lakes on both sides, yet I was the only one swimming today. Seriously, I never saw anybody else in the water all day. It made me think that maybe the water is bad or something, but oh well. It could have also been because it was a grey day, raining on and off. Ha! That doesn’t bother me!

My computer is about to die. It is kind of sad, but at least it made it this far. Today was incredibly frustrating, as video after video just would not work on my computer. And the clips that did work were not editable in the way I would have liked. That is why some of the sound is not aligned to the video. I’m kind of bummed. Isis, my computer, and I have traveled the country together and brought you video clips and photos from nearly 50 interviews. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to post any more video clips of the interviews, but I will try.

If you want to be the #1 Driving Equality fan, make me incredibly happy, and make the ultimate contribution to the project, (I’ll need a new computer to edit the film), please help me purchase a new MacBook Pro.

15-inch: 2.8GHz

Intel Core 2 Duo
4GB Memory
500GB hard drive
Built-in 7-hour battery
NVIDIA GeForce 9400M + 9600M GT with 512MB
Ships: Within 24hrs

$2,299.00

Click here to contribute to the New Computer Fund. (hey, it’s worth a shot, right?)

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Today is day 99! Please enjoy:

Day 98

This morning I was in Des Moines, Iowa to interview Sandy Vopalka. She is an amazing activist and has been fighting for our community for 30 years. She founded Equality Iowa many years ago. She helped pushed the state legislature to pass a fully-inclusive employment and housing non-discrimination law.

Sandy is now running The Center, a place for LGBT folks in Des Moines. Her mission is now, and always has been, to make every member of the LGBT community feel welcome. She is doing incredible work. I admire her passion and her commitment to inclusivity.

After meeting with Sandy I sped through Iowa to get to a kiss-in in Iowa City. There were kiss-ins in over 50 cities across the country to protest the treatment of the two boys in Utah who were arrested for kissing. The event in Iowa City was small but spirited. The folks I met, including Bridget, who organized the event, were awesome! This seems like a really cool city.

At 1:00 the couples stood in the big chalk heart on the sidewalk and kissed. It was lovely. I wish I had a boy to kiss though. I will try to post the video tomorrow. My computer is being a real pain. (Woops, the clip of the interview with Sandy didn’t work either. I’ll keep trying…)

If you like what we are doing, please help us continue the project by making a contribution.

Day 97

In Nebraska I interviewed Michael Gordon. He is the Executive Director of Citizens for Equal Protection. Michael and I talked about the lack of rights for LGBT people in this state. There are not workplace or housing protections, no adoption rights, no foster-care rights, and of course gay couples are not allowed to marry…or enter in a civil union…or a domestic partnership. Nebraska was actually the first state to amend their constitution to ban same-sex marriage. Their amendment not only outlawed gay marriage, but any kind of relationship recognition for same-sex couples.

Yet, Michael has been working hard and has managed to help pass a few pieces of pro-LGBT legislation. Couples in Nebraska can designate who they want to handle their funeral arrangements. This is important for same-sex couples who cannot marry. Michael told me the story of a lesbian couple that he was friends with. One of the partners passedaway recently. The other partner went to the funeral home to make the arrangement. However, the woman’s next of kin was there to take over and was going to push her partner out of the picture. The funeral director was going to have the woman escorted out by police! But the two women had filed the funeral-rights paperwork. Still, the partner had to call the ACLU, who called the governor’s office, who put an aide of the phone to explain to the funeral director that the lesbian partner had the final say in the arrangements.

Nebraska has a long way to go. But Omaha is a great city. It actually peeled away one of the states electoral votes and turned it blue for Barack Obama!

The interesting thing about Omaha is that it is right next to Iowa. When you cross the river into Council Bluffs, your citizenship status raises a few points. You can legally marry and you are protected under employment and housing legislation.

After my interview in Nebraska, I crossed into Iowa to interview Mike and Hersh, a legally married same-sex couple. They have been together for nearly 30 years and can finally marry now that the Iowa Supreme Court unanimously decided that discriminating against same-sex couples is unlawful.

Mike told me about his legal-limbo situation. He lives, and is married, in Iowa, but works in Nebraska. When he crosses the river, 10 minutes from his house, into Nebraska, his legal relationship dissolves. He has specifically told his employer that, if anything should happen to him while at work, make sure the ambulance takes him to a hospital in Iowa so that his husband can be there and will have the authority to make decisions about his care.

This was a great interview. I edited together a nice clip, but my computer is dying and won’t let me save it. (Click here to contribute to the New Computer Fund.)

If you like what we are doing, please help us continue the project by making a contribution.

Day 96

After leaving Fargo, North Dakota, I headed toward Grand Rapids, Minnesota. (The hometown of Judy Garland.) There I met with some great folks who are doing the work to promote equality in northern Minnesota. This is not the liberal city Minneapolis. Currently there is a debate in the local paper. Letters-to-the-editor are flying. The argument is not over gay marriage or if LGBTs deserve rights, but whether or not homosexuality itself is allowable.

There is a medical doctor in town who has taken a hard stance against homosexuality. He uses religion as his basis for stating that gays and lesbians are sick and need to change. My new friend Andy Mundt used to see this doctor when he was younger. After Andy came out, the doctor tried to help him find a “cure” and asked if he wanted ex-gay literature. Andy knew he wasn’t sick and started seeing a different doctor. That is when he learned that his old doctor had marked on his chart that Andy was sick, suffering from homosexuality. Andy is now the President of Itasca GLBTA Alliance. Check out a clip of our interview below.

I also interviewed Ashley Rantala. She lives in Hibbing, Minnesota, part of the Iron Range. The Iron Range is a series of towns that are grouped together because of their main export; iron. This part of the country is not the most welcoming place for gays and lesbians. She started a group for LGBT folks living in the Iron Range. She fields phone calls from closeted community members looking for help. Ashley proudly wears her rainbow neckless in town. One day she was in a gas station when the boy behind the counter saw the neckless and reached out to her for help. He is gay, in the closet, and was close to suicide. Ashley was able to be there for him when he needed someone to talk.

I hung out in Grand Rapids until 3:00AM and then drove a few hours toward Omaha, Nebraska. Today I woke up around noon and continued driving the rest of the nine hours to my next destination. I just arrived in Nebraska and am camping near a lake.

Throughout the country, I have tried to get a more even feel of the state of our LGBT community by meeting people in small towns as well as big cities. If I had more time I would travel to every part of every state, but that is not possible. Of course I conduct interview in big cities, but I also find it incredibly important to talk with folks in small towns to get a better idea of what life in America is like for LGBT people.

I live in the extremely gay friendly city of Cambridge, Massachusetts. But that is not where I grew up. I was born and raised in the central part of the state, far away from the big city. The town I grew up in has less than 10,000 people, didn’t have a stoplight until I was older, and my high school class was about 80 students. I know what it is like to be from a small town. I love Lunenburg, but I understand that it can be hard for LGBT folks to feel safe and welcomed in a rural community.

The number one thing that I had, and still have today, going for me, is my parents. A lot of kids from rural America don’t have the support of their parents. I always have, and am realizing more and more everyday that I travel through this country and meet folks who have different stories, just how lucky I am.

If you like what we are doing, please help us continue the project by making a contribution.

(Sorry for the audio not being alligned with the video. My computer is dying. Click here to contribute to the New Computer Fund.)

The way we win full equality for LGBT people is by telling our personal stories.  This has been proven again and again in states across the country.

Driving Equality has been collecting stories from lesbians, gay men, bisexuals, transgendered folks, straight allies, clergy members, and elected officials in every state.  I will compile these stories in a documentary and use the film to push for full equality.

These are the United States of America, yet for the LGBT community they are anything but. We can be considered equal under the law in one state, with employment, housing, and hate-crimes protections, even equal marriage rights, but if we travel just a few hours and cross state lines, our rights disappear. Legally, our relationships no longer exist.  Drive a few more hours and we can be fired just for being who we are. 

For the LGBT community, these are not the United States of America.  Driving Equality will highlight the patchwork of laws and amendments that govern the unequal treatment of LGBT people in America.

Today, I need your help to complete the journey.  I do not have enough funds to make it home. As it stands right now, I will be stuck in Ohio in just over a week. I need funds for gas, food, film, and lodging.

If you have not made a contribution yet, now is the perfect time to give.  Every bit helps.  If you have already made a donation, please consider giving just a bit more.  This is the home stretch!

$15 buys food for a day and keeps my strength up.

$25 gets a campsite for the night and a hot shower in the morning.

$50 pays for five rolls of film.

$75 fills a tank of gas for the Driving Equality van.

$100 makes you a State Sponsor, with your name or organization listed on the website and in the final credits of the film, and helps ensure the production of the documentary.

$250 makes you a Regional Sponsor, with your name or organization listed on the website and in the final credits of the film, and helps ensure the production of the documentary.

$500 makes you a National Sponsor, with your name or organization listed on the website and in the final credits of the film, and helps ensure the production of the documentary.

$1000 makes you a International Sponsor, with your name or organization listed on the website and in the final credits of the film, and helps ensure the production of the documentary.

Please contribute today to help us tell our stories. This is how we win.

You can donate online here, or mail a check made out to Driving Equality to:

Driving Equality
c/o Tom Mason
51 Peninsula Drive
Lunenburg, MA 01462

International Sponsor $1000+

National Sponsor: $500

Regional Sponsor: $250

State Sponsor: $100

Day 95

I had a great time in Fargo, North Dakota today. I have always wanted to come to Fargo. One of my favorite movies is Fargo.

On the way into town, I found out that the Fargo Police Department has a GLBT Liaison Officer. I called Lieutenant Greg Lemke and asked if I could interview him for the documentary. He did me one better. Today just happened to be the day that he is teaching a class at the police academy on sexual orientation diversity. He invited me to film the class.

Lieutenant Lemke has been a police officer for nearly 25 years. He came out over a decade ago. He shared with me some of his experiences as an openly-gay cop in North Dakota. The sexual orientation diversity class that he taught was incredible. Even I learned a lot. I know his work must make a huge difference in the area. I wish every police officer had to take this class.

This was one of the most interesting experiences of the trip. Thank you so much to Lieutenant Lemke for inviting me to the class. He is one of only a dozen GLBT Police Liaison Officers in the country!

Check out the clips below. This first one is a short clip of our interview and the second one is a clip of the class.

If you like what we are doing, please help us continue the project by making a contribution.

Day 94

Nothing to report today. I drove across South Dakota for about eight hours. It is a pretty state. I took a nap around 4:00 pm and woke up a few hours later to keep driving. I am finding that I can’t drive for as long as I used to be able. Maybe that is because I have driven nearly 20,000 miles in three months. That is double what most people do in an entire year.

Check out this video of a one-lane bridge that we crossed near Mount Saint Helens in Washington. It was nerve-racking!

Day 93

I have been on the road for three months. I left Massachusetts on May 10th and have traveled over 18,000 miles. It is a huge country.

In South Dakota I stopped at the Black Hill Center for Equality in Rapid City. There I sat down with Ron, Jay, and Rusty to discuss what it is like to be gay in South Dakota. This state does not have any legal protections for LGBT people. There is a lot of work to do here. Yet, the community is strong and even had a four-day pride celebration this year.

It was also interesting to find out that two of the folks I interviewed knew Matthew Shepard. He used to come from Laramie to the LGBT group in Rapid City because they had 18+ dance nights. Ron and Rusty both remember Matt as a really nice guy and were both devastated when he was killed.

If you like what we are doing, please help us continue the project by making a contribution.

Driving Equality was featured in the August edition of Ambiente Magazine. Special thanks to David Watter for including me in his project, “Never Blend In”.

Check out the article online here.

Day 92

Today was a driving day. I drove from the Rendezvous camp, near Cheyenne, Wyoming, to Rapid City, South Dakota. Nothing exciting to report today, just lots of miles. Check out this video of Nuclia Waste at Rendezvous!

Day 91

While in Wyoming, I checked the Wyoming Equality website to find someone to interview. That is when I learned of Rendezvous. This is Wyoming’s Pride Festival. It is a big camp out in the middle of the high desert. My eyes lit up. Camping + Queers = Super Fun Time!

After visiting Laramie, I headed into the woods. I got lost in the maze of dirt roads. Twilight turned to dark and I kept driving, the van bouncing over rocks and sand humps. Eventually, I found my way to Rendezvous. It was dark, but I could see lights in the distance. I came upon a glowing tent with a rainbow flag blowing in the ever-present Wyoming wind. I was home.

I parked the van and joined the party. Here, in the middle of the woods, were hundreds of LGBTs enjoying a live show. There was an incredible guitar player on stage. I nervously walked to the back of the audience and stood amongst the crowd. It was not long before folks came over and started to introduce themselves. A cute boy put some beads around my neck. Everybody asked where I was from, “Wyoming? Denver?” I told them I was from Massachusetts, driving around the country, making a documentary about gay rights and just happen to be traveling through Wyoming at the right time. After the show, parties broke out in camps all over the place. I was invited to Camp Voodoo, where I met a bunch of awesome guys. They were so friendly and adopted me for the weekend. It was a wild party and a great night.

The next day, I conducted three interviews. The night before I had met Pat Steadman, an openly-gay state senator from Denver, Colorado. I interview him and my new friend Anthony Aragon, the Board Chair of Equal Rights Colorado. Both Pat and Anthony told me about the incredible advances that had been made in Colorado in the past five years. They now have protections in employment and housing for LGBT individuals as well as hate-crimes protections. There is even a new law giving relationship recognition. It turned out that Pat, a gay activist turned state senator, had wrote and managed to push through all of this pro-LGBT legislation. It was an incredible stroke of luck to meet Pat and Anthony in the middle of the woods in Wyoming!

The third interview was with Joe Corrigan, Chair of Wyoming Equality. Joe told me what it is like to be gay in the Equality State (Wyoming is nicknamed the Equality State because it was the first state to give women the right to vote.) Joe talked about the work that Equality Wyoming is doing and the progress that is being made in this state. He remembered when he heard about Matthew Shepard being killed and what that would mean for Wyoming.
After our interview, Joe let me drive his ATV. He led the way on his partner’s ATV as we raced through the high desert. This was AMAZING. I had so much fun. Joe is the man! He then fed me steak and sent me out on another ATV ride with Larry. Thanks guys!!

That evening my new friend David, performed as NuClia Waste, the triple-breasted, green-haired, drag queen. This was a fabulous show! If you are in Denver, check out www.NucliaWaste.com and catch a show. You will not be disappointed.

I had a blast at Rendezvous. It was one of my favorite experience of the journey so far. I met a group of great guys that made me feel right at home. I can’t wait to go back next year!

In my conversation with folks from Wyoming over the weekend, I have heard again and again that this is a “live and let live” kind of state. I believe that. It seems like a lot the people I talked to here are out in their communities. Folks know they are gay, but don’t much care. It is a private matter that doesn’t concern the other folks in town. Live and Let Live. Someone should have told Matthew Shepard’s killers that. They do NOT represent Wyoming.

Wyoming calls itself, “forever West”. That seems to be true. The cowboy hats, the land, the gun racks, the pickups; everything here makes me feel like I am in the West. It feels good. I love this state.

If you like what we are doing, please help us continue the project by making a contribution.

Day 90

Today I drove from Salt Lake City, Utah to Laramie, Wyoming. The word “Laramie” is infamous in the minds of LGBTs across the country. This is where Matthew Shepard was killed. Many gay folks have made a pilgrimage to Laramie, to see where the most famous anti-gay hate-crime took place. I had to see for myself.

As I drove closer to Laramie, I became more emotional than I was expecting. Just seeing the name of the city on the green highway signs made a lump form in the throat. This is probably because the play about Matthew Shepard’s murder, “The Laramie Project”, and the film by the same name, use the “LARAMIE” sign as the image for the production.

I finally reached the city. Driving through the streets, I thought about the things I was seeing, and wondered if they were the same things he had seen when he lived here. Surrounding the city are hills and plains with barely any trees. The wind blows like I’ve never experience before. I thought about Matthew being tied to that fence, with the wind howling. He must have been freezing.

I headed to the University of Wyoming, where Matthew went to school. There I found the bench with a memorial plaque dedicated to Matthew Shepard. The plaque reads:

MATTHEW WAYNE SHEPARD
DECEMBER 1, 1976 – OCTOBER 12, 1998
BELOVED SON, BROTHER, AND FRIEND
HE CONTINUES TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE
PEACE BE WITH HIM AND ALL WHO SIT HERE

I sat on the bench and thought about all that has happened since Matthew was murdered 10 years ago. Progress is being made. Congress is on the verge of passing The Matthew Shepard Act, a hate-crimes bill that will protect members of the LGBT community nationwide. I looked around at the beautiful campus of the University of Wyoming and hoped Matthew liked it here.

After visiting the bench, I went to the outskirts of town to find the famous “LARAMIE” sign. There it was. Seeing this sign struck me harder than anything else in town. There may be a memorial bench dedicated to Matthew, but it is this sign that I had come to see. It is this sign, this picture, that I have connected with the death of Matthew Shepard for 10 years. Seeing the words, the letters, L-A-R-A-M-I-E, moved me. Of course I never new Matthew Shepard and have no personal connection to him. But I do, like every other LGBT person, have a personal connection to his story, his life, and his death.

Hate-crimes are considered as such because they are not only crimes against the victims, but against an entire community. The murder of Matthew Shepard was also a crime against a 16-year old Chris Mason in Lunenburg, Massachusetts. I had come out two years earlier and was now being shown that I could be killed for being gay. It made the anti-gay threats I heard in the halls of my high school much more real, scary, and deadly.

I never expected to be so moved by this town. I put it on the itinerary because it seemed like a good idea to stop here for the film. I never thought my heart would race like it did or that I would be so nervous to see the town. I had internalized more of this story than I had realized.

After seeing the “LARAMIE” sign, I jumped back on the highway and headed out of town. I felt a sense of relief wash over me. I felt better after being here. I took a deep breath and drove on.

If you like what we are doing, please help us continue the project by making a contribution.

Day 89

I rolled into Salt Lake City around noon today. My first stop was the Utah Pride Center. This place is amazing! They are doing such great work. I was a little nervous about being in Utah, home of the anti-gay Mormon church, but as soon as I got to the Pride Center, I let out a deep breath and felt right at home.

I was lucky enough to interview four employees of the Pride Center. Jennifer gave me an idea of what kind of work the Pride Center does. Jude told me about the queer youth in the state. (Queer youth make up nearly 45% of the homeless youth in the state.) Marina talked about the work that is being done on a legislative level. And Michael talked about the climate for LGBT folks living in Utah.

The state does not protect LGBT people under employment, housing, or hate-crimes legislation. Marina believes these protections must come from the federal government, because Utah’s legislature is too conservative to pass any such laws. I asked about the influence of the Mormon church in the Prop 8 campaign in California. Everyone agreed that, since the church became so involved in helping to pass that anti-gay amendment, the Utah LGBT community has come together to stand up for their rights in their own state. It has galvanized the community.

While in Salt Lake City, I had to see where the two boys were arrested for kissing. They were arrested in a part of the city called Temple Square. This is where Main Street travels through a piece of land that was purchased by the LDS church. The deal with the city was that the walkway would remain a public throughway. Walking through the area where the boys were arrested, it is clear that the pathway is a public walkway. Yet, when the boys showed affection for each other by giving a simple kiss, they were harassed by the LDS church security guards. The boys, rightfully so, protested this harassment. The security guards then detained, handcuffed, and arrested the boys.

The incident has created a call for “kiss-ins” nationwide. August 15th there will be “kiss-ins” all across the country. Fortunately, the Salt Lake City District Attorney threw out the case against the boys. It appears the lasting impact of the arrest is a spotlight on LGBT equality and dignity. This is certainly not what the LDS church could have hoped for.

Special Thanks to Michael and John for dinner and giving me an incredible place to stay the night.

If you like what we are doing, please help us continue the project by making a contribution.

Day 88

Today was an incredible day. On my way from Yellowstone National Park to Idaho Falls, I stopped to grab some WIFI and find some folks to interview. I found a news article about a rally against Prop 8 that took place in Idaho Falls. The minister at the local Unitarian Universalist church was quoted in the story. I googled her name and called the church. Reverend Lyn Cameron answered the phone and answered the call. She was able to round-up some amazing folks to interview on just a two hour notice.

We met at the church and then went over to Dino and Steve’s house to conduct the interviews. They are both wonderful straight allies. Dino has pledged to answer every anti-gay letter-to-the-editor that is printed in the local paper. She is unstoppable. She dissects the opposition’s arguments and pleads the case for equality in simple to understand terms.

First up in our series of interviews was Cherie Stevens. She is a fabulous PFLAG mom and has been part of the organization for 13 years! She was at the protest against Prop 8, standing up for her son’s rights. Her gay son lives in California. Check out the video clip of the interview with Cherie. This woman rocks!

Next up, Sam took the hot seat. (I’m withholding Sam’s last name because…well, watch the video and you’ll find out.) I have been starring at my computer screen for a while now, trying to figure out how to put the impact this interview had on me into words. It is not possible. You need to watch this interview. Sam is one of the most incredible, amazing, inspiring, fabulous people I have ever met. His story is one that needs to be told.

Sam “came out” to his parents when he was 10 years old by asking his father why he was attracted to another boy. His parents are Southern Baptist missionaries. His father’s response landed Sam in the emergency room. For the next few years Sam underwent aversion therapy to “cure” him of his homosexuality. First he was told over and over again that he was evil, the only gay person left on earth, and that he had AIDS. Then he was forced to hold ice while being shown pictures of men hugging. Then came the electrocution. He was shown pictures of men and women. When the men appeared, he was electro-shocked. Sam screamed in pain as his mother listened from the next room. He was 12 years old.

I should also mention that Sam is a bit of a genius. He is a nuclear engineer and has testified in front of Congress on the positive aspects of nuclear energy. He is also an incredible opera singer. Check out the clip below. (Sam also sings for us!)

After the riveting interview with Sam, we all sat down to dinner. Steve made a great meal with fresh vegetables from the garden. After dinner, we conducted an interview with Dino Lowrey. She talked about her support for LGBT equality and her work with Breaking Boundaries, a local group that provides services to the underserved population of Southeast Idaho. This year, for the first time, Breaking Boundaries and the local PFLAG chapter had a float in the local 4th of July parade. Not only that, but they won 1st prize! Check out the clip of the interview with Dino below. She is a powerhouse of an activist.

Idaho may be a conservative state, but with the folks I met tonight, bigotry and homophobia don’t stand a chance in the Gem state.

If you like what we are doing, please help us continue the project by making a contribution.

(This video was taken with the ‘behind-the-scenes’ blog camera and is not the actual footage for the documentary.)

Day 87

This is my last day in Yellowstone National Park. I went on a 6 mile hike through some of the most beautiful country I’ve ever seen. I saw deer and buffalo grazing about. I was sure to wear my bear bell, as I didn’t want to surprise a grizzly on the path.

Today is day number 87. In the original Driving Equality itinerary, today would be the day I made it back home. For the first year of planning, I was expecting to be home on August 4th. A few months before I hit the road however, I extended the trip to 107 days in order to cover more ground and talk to more folks. As I sit here in Wyoming, twenty days from my homecoming, I wonder how I could have done this is such a short amount of time. Even as it is, I am only in most states for a day or two before moving on. I’m glad I extended the trip. This 107 day plan had me leaving two days after my last final at Tufts and has me returning home one week before starting classes for the fall semester. It’s a tight squeeze, but it’s well worth it to cover more ground.

On day 76 I told you that we crossed the Puget Sound on an automobile ferry. Check out the little video I put together of our crossing.